Father's what?

I hate to see my kids sad.. or upset...

Jack

came up to me today and asked if he would see his dad on Father's Day,

he made him something at school!

(his dad moved to Florida, for work,

we are in Arizona) and

for the most part, he has been

MIA....

I have been a single mom, for a long time now!

These are the things that make it the hardest!

I try to be mom and dad...

but

when things like this come around,

or when there are events like...

Donuts for Dads

at Jacks school,

i can see it in his face!

It breaks my heart!

Remorse Immediately Follows!

Out of no where....

A cake...

a white cake, with confetti icing..

ends up in my shopping cart!

My thinking....

If I was thinking...

I do believe I lost consciousness while it was being placed in the shopping cart.

(maybe Tag did it)

...

Jacks' 4th grade graduation/Memorial day/Tag pee pees in the potty

CAKE!

I took the smallest tiniest sliver...

and....

REMORSE

Immediately Follows..

it has taken over...

and

these pesky heart palpitations from it being so sweet and sugary!

I will never do it again!

Never!!

I'm headed to 4:30 Yoga!

Lets pretend this little incident never happened!

Chubby thighs!

Sorry... Cycle at 8:45

Nope, cant... Power Yoga at 4:30...

Cant have that.. too many calories....

UGH!

Seems to be my excuseses as of late!

I have been obsessing over losing weight for summer.

Not even just for summer, but forever!

I'm tired of hiding parts...

I'm tired of buying "my size" pants...

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and not being happy with what looks back!

I have always had to work hard with my weight!

It should be a cinch, doing this for so long....

But since i have

become

33...

It's not so easy anymore...

(that's the new excuse)

I try so hard....each day i wake up and go to the gym!

I count my calories

(yes i do sneak in a few things here and there that i shouldn't)

but for the most part,

I consciously am aware of what i put in my body!

But.. no change in my jeans!

Its so frustrating..

I feel hopeless...

I obsess.

I stare.

I pinch.

I grab.

I move around.

I look with frown on face.

Its so hard to be a woman!

Happy Mother's Day

Jack made me this lil clay heart....

He also made me a Poetry book at school..

Those are the BEST presents ever!

The reason I get to celebrate Mother's Day!
Jack

Tag


I must go, I have 2 handsome boys waiting to swim, play and have our pancake breakfast!

For Mother's Day, I asked for no fighting....

...

I guess there is always next year!