Jack"man"... the Day O' Doom!

Jack had a very exciting day yesterday!

The School Science Fair/Art Fair

We got to go to Jack's school and see his much talked about Volcano Erupt!!

We both had ideas in our head, about how this would all go down!

Jack and His Mama's Great Idea on the Volcano Eruption!~

We were thinking we would get to the school.....

Darkness would fall on Weinberg Elementary!

We would smell the odor of sulfur (pwef, stinky) and see

smoke rise from the buildings!

As we walked towards the third grade entrance....

There would be a "Ring of Fire" !! All the Volcano's the kids had built,

all over the 3rd grade courtyard!

One after another shooting hot lava (or as the kids learned, magma)

all over the school!

People screaming, kids crying, lava, magma everywhere!

Dust, dirt.... burns.... AHHHHH

HELP!!!!!!! SOS!!!!!!! HELP US!!!!!!

So, it didn't quite turn out that way!

As we approach the school, there is SUN shine! EVERYWHERE! ..... um.. (where be the clouds?)

As a matter of fact, i believe it was the sunniest day on record! :)

Kids are running around the playground... (where is the screaming in terror, this is laughter i hear!!)

We walked toward the much dreaded "3rd Grade Courtyard" .... and what is that we hear, but an old recording of Johnny Cash singing, "Ring of Fire".... What the...... hmmm.. catchy tune!

OK, well i know once we turn the corner, we are going to get slammed with MAGMA!

~Get ready for the 3rd degree burns kids, but its worth it to see Jack's Volcano he made~

Hmmm..... strange~

We hear more laughing, no burns, but kids with happy faces, parents cheering, bells ringing.... (bells, whats with the bells, there are no bells when a Volcano erupts)

We see all the kid made Volcano's, in a "RING of FIRE" ..... (at least i was right about that)

He finds his, picks it up, and we head to a Black tent!......

~Me thinking, OK this is it, they are tricking us!~

We enter, one family at a time into the..... Black Tent O' Death!!! (I named it that)

I think the teachers called it the "HAPPY LAVA TENT" but none the less.... we walk in to face our doom!

We sit at a table in the TENT O' DOOM!

...... this is strange, No magma, or lava... we have Baking Soda... and Vinegar....

(see, it was stinky of Vinegar... YES!!!! was right about it being smelly too!!!)

I got to hold a bell, and Jack got to sit across from his Volcano O' DOOM!

He poured some baking soda on the (very nicely sculpted volcano, i must add) and then was handed a cup, that I thought was just about to end our existence!

It was a cup of vinegar! Da da daaaaaaaaaa!

(Ah, thats why i got a bell to ring, had to drown out the sound of us screaming in horror when magma was about explode!)

HE poured the cup of Vinegar on the baking soda.... and........... I'm ringing the BELL O" DOOM...

Hmmmm.... there was a fizzing noise, and then it was done! LAVA was made!

Well, "ehm".... that wasn't so bad! (You guys want to go get some ice cream!)

I guess we exit out to the left......

Wait... i don't get to keep the bell?

And..... that was the DAY O" DOOM!... well almost doom!

So, since we lived through the "Ring of Fire"..... we went across the courtyard to the Cafeteria, to see the Art Fair.....

Jack's picture was lovely......

We walked to the car, (Jack's volcano in a garbage bag in hand) and went home to tell Grandma about the..... da da daaaaaaa..... DAY O' DOOM!

Ode' To My Favorite Shirt

Ode' to my Favorite Shirt......

Thank you,

for draping on me so nicely and making my bosoms look bigger then they are.

Your color of green is such a lovely mixture of blue and teal......

The pleats around the neckline, and lace, its just so flattering....

Your job has been done, mission accomplished!

You are my favorite shirt.....

A Neighborhood is all about the Neighbors.

I love my neighborhood!

On a daily basis we have up to 10 boys playing football in the streets....

... kids riding bikes, scooters.... chalk being colored on the driveways....

We don't have many girls in "da hood".... but the boys make it so much fun!

I have to give a little shout out..."THANKS" to my great neighbors!

The "ladies" who i like to refer too them as, have become such important parts of the Hoffman Clan's lives...

We sit out on the driveway, have cocktails, play ball, talk and catch up with what ever may be happening in "da hood!"

Occasionally on the weekends, we let the kids stay up later then normal, we stay outside

playing, talking, laughing.

The occasional practical joke on the

neighbor that choose to "leave the hood" that night!

Sorry, Bryan for the "HOT" pepper in your beer that night!

If any consolation, it was Ray's idea!

It wouldn't be as much fun living here on Granite Street,

if we didn't have "the ladies", the husbands, the kids

who have become such an important part of our lives!

These BEAUTIES.....

Don't mind the kids in the background, though they are my little beauties too...... but I'm talking about the sweet little nothings that are perched perfectly on the counter.

I saw these yesterday.... just shopping around, looking for some new tops, when a force was pulling me to the shoe department.

It was such a strong force, that i nearly couldn't concentrate on the 11 shirts that were in my hand that i was "thinking" about buying...... (when i say "thinking" you all know, that i mean.. "AM")

For those of you wondering,

yes i did concur the questionable shirts,

and did walk away with 4 of them... :)

But back to my little beauties.....

... As i was being pulled into the shoe department, the smell of leather.... the shine of the shoes was so over powering...

I looked left, i looked right, and then sitting on a table ( light was shining on these little beauties as though, they were there waiting for me to grab them, just them, and just me! )

As i slip her on my foot (also noticing that i am in dire need of a pedicure, especially if i am going to get these little beauties)... she fits perfectly! It was though these were made specifically for me!

As i clenched them in my hand, (because that other lady, that was staring me down was not getting these) ... i ran... err.. i mean, briskly walked to the check out, before anyone could stop me, steel them from me, or even admire MY shoes, without my feet in them!

The purchase was made! Transaction complete!

I brought them home! Made a nice neat little spot next to my Jimmy Choo's.... and await the moment, that i get to show the world.....

**My Little Beauties!**

Why do i let that happen.......

I hate hate hate..... (first of all, i hate starting a blog with hate).... so...

I do not like, when you are in a situation....as, your in a great mood, no, no that part i like, i love having a great day, being in a wonderful mood!.......but having a lovely day..... and then,

All of the sudden... someone emails you, talks to you... mind you its not good news...... or just someone you know is full of drama, a negative nelly.......

and it completely DEFLATES you........

Its hard to come back from that!!!!

This must ..... it MUST be one of my Resolutions this year....

SAYING IT IN BOLD ALWAYS HELPS!....

**DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!!!!

**DON'T LET SOMEONE ELSE's POO, TURN YOU BLUE!!!!

Toys..... Toys are so over-rated!

Have you ever watched while kids open up presents... they are so excited that they just cant help but to rip the packaging... they are so aggressive, and happy, and excited! Then.... they pull the toy out.... you think that their eyes are lighting up because of what you got for them.......

But just as you were thinking they would start playing with such a wonderful thing.......

They throw the fantastic toy aside, and start playing with the BOX! .....

WHAT?????!!?!

Its always been that way! Give a baby a metal pan and a spoon, and they can play for hours!

My kids tonight, come up to me as I'm in my room, reading through blogs, checking mail, etc.....

They were screaming with laughter, unable to speak words because they are giggling so hard!

I'm thinking to myself, wow, i must have out done myself with the X-mas presents this year, and the one they are playing with is just priceless and has them so full of joy......

Once again.... NOT QUITE a present i bought for them.... more like, well .... just read on....

Jack, the older of the 2..... has something in his hand........

wait... what is that? What on earth are they doing......

..... as i peak around the corner, and see.....

Jack is pulling his little brother Tag around the house with a sock!

I see Tag whipping around the corner, laughing so hard. Tag is holding on to one side, Jack is gripping so tight to the other end of the sockie! ....... THEIR THEY GO! THEIR OFF!!!!!

SO, bye bye expensive toys, see you later hundred dollar Lego sets.......

Next time, I'm just buying a pair of socks.... (gotta get a pair...you know, 1 for back up!)

My "Little Monster"....

You see... there is a little boy who i love so dearly.... We call him "Little Monster".. AKA.. Tag.

He is 2 years old, just a pistol, and full of energy, silly sayings, goofy giggles.

In the Hoffman home, we have experienced our 1st.... Broken Bone.

We honestly don't know how it happened, but we are going by Jacks story, which might be a bit UN detailed ... None the less, was an ACCIDENT!

The story goes as such... and mind you this is pure speculation.......

Takes place - Jacks Bedroom!

"screaming Tag" laying on the floor, in between the bed and door to Jacks room.....

ME: "Oh Tag, whats wrong? OH no, what happened? You OK?

Tag: "Screaming" holding his leg.

ME: "He cant WALK!" "He cant WALK!"

Tag: "Screaming" holding his leg.

ME: "Oh crap, something is wrong" Mom, what do you think!? (which is mistake number 1, never ask my mom to diagnose a problem, she thinks she is a DR, and comes up with the number 1 worst circumstance)

-Side Note-

When i was pregnant with Jack, i did a 3D ultrasound. How he was laying made seem as though he had 1 eye. The lady who did the ultra sound reassured me that was normal. Though, my Mom proceeded to tell me i was going to give birth to a 1 eyed baby.

OK.... back to the story.....

ME: "Jack, what happened to your brother"

Jack: "I don't know!"

ME: "Jack, its OK, tell me what happened!"

Jack: "I don't know, he was just jumping off the bed, onto my back, laughing, then he would do it again!" Jump, Laugh and Repeat!

So, we were thinking of many things that could have happened:

-Sprained ankle

-Broken leg (though no protruding bones)

-Just hurt his foot, twisted it funny

Just didn't know! So, called my favorite pediatric nurse, VALERIE (AKA. My BFF) She told me, it could be fractured, but doesn't know, and maybe i should just wait for the morning, and he is the same, limping, take him to Urgent care!

Next day, he woke up, his leg hurts, and Urgent Care here we come!

Now, to make a long story short, after Xrays, 3 Dr visits, and finally a trip to an Orthopedic Surgeon.... He had a fractured Tibia "Toddler Fracture"... shin bone! Poor Kid is in a very cool camo cast!

He gets his cast off after 4 weeks, which is Thursday the 15th! YEAH!

He is such a great sport, he waddles around, walks with, maybe we can call it a pimp walk! Or better yet, a man who took shrapnel in the War! None the less, he has made the best of the situation! Which in turn gives us a little giggle, when he walks, or when i was changing his diaper in the back of the car (sometimes it just has to be done, i mean this kid pees so much) and the sound of his leg hitting the back of the car, T H U D !!! Was priceless!

I just love my "Little Monster".... and can't wait till he is back running like a crazy kid around the house again!

Wait... maybe we can keep it on a month or so.... you know, just to make sure he is OK!

Its Resolution Time!

I think it helps, writing out the resolutions! It makes it more Official!

For 2009, my RESOLUTIONS are......

~ take more pictures of my family, and friends. (I hate always saying, I wish we

would have taken pictures)

~ do more fun activities with my kids! (and follow through)

~ Eat less, exercise MORE! (I have to say that, I think everyone does on Jan 1)

~ 2 words, SAVINGS ACCOUNT!

~ Take my kids on a great vacation!

~ See the best in a situation (gonna need some real help with this one, being

the pessimist that i am!)

~ Blog more, journal more, document more, organize more, de-clutter the ol' life!

I think these are all things i have wanted to work on, or wanted to do! OK... its on! The gauntlet is thrown~! Its gonna happen! ALL of them!

Look, I'm already blogging more! SWEET!

To all the MARRIED PEOPLE OUT THERE........

STAY MARRIED! ..... and there is a reason as to why i say this!

As a single lady, Spinster if you will, because by definition, "A spinster (or old maid) is a woman or girl of marriageable age who has been unwilling or unable to marry" though the definition states its also someone who has no children.... None the less, someone who cant marry.

So, as I'm at the bookstore today, with my gorgeous ENGAGED sister, we are chatting about events happening in the month of February. Yes, Morgan turning 9, Whoo Hoo go Morgan, "think she will want Little pets again this year, or clothes?"

.. she has so many years left before she becomes what her "ol auntie" has managed to do...

Then Danielle, yes her b-day is the 27th, ."it was so fun visiting with her when she was here, man she should move out here so she can babysit our kids" ... THEN

.. oh and Jessica.... yours is... AS I BELT OUT... "THERE WILL BE NO JESSICA BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR, FOR I AM SINGLE, IN MY THIRTIES, AND WITH CHILDREN.. oh did i mention IN MY THIRTIES! OYE! Now as the whole Barnes and Noble looks over at me, nods of, "oh yes, i can see as to what you mean on their faces!" My, yes gorgeous, ENGAGED sister, is telling me its just a number Jessica, don't worry... you will find someone!

Lets move on to a few hours later.... I am sitting at my computer, thinking i should just put my profile back up on MATCH.com just because i have had somewhat success in the past. I don't want to be alone forever, and i never get out to date! Its still saved in the system, thank goodness, i didn't think i could be that clever again with writing my profile! I retake some embarrassing pictures of myself (now that I'm a brunette)... and off we are... ON MATCH.com awaiting many many many men... just so thrilled they found me!

NOT QUITE!

The first hour, 6 potentials "wink" at me.... oh I'm so excited to see who has found me! Um, are you kidding, 5 are over 55 years old, bald, no teeth, and um... is that your chest hair coming out of your shirt... and 1 is 32yrs old and no sense of humor, nor did he have anything interesting to say in his profile, doesnt read books, and is into sci-fi.... oh brother!

Here is why I am writing..... and say... "STAY MARRIED"!

Match.com, wait wait wait, MEN on MATCH.com are apparently only bald, over fifty, say they work-out every morning (keep in mind their beer belly pics are on their profile) and looking for a young tart-let to keep them full of life! OR.... Scottsdale snob men, looking for same, yet they are actually hot, work-out everyday and wanting a lady with HUGE BOOBS! In the profiles, words of, I want a girl to be true, honest, whats inside is most important, (BUT SLIM,HOT with big BONKERS is required)... WHAT?

What happened to good guys, just looking for a good ol' fashioned girl.....

That's just it... they are married! SO, Ladies..... STAY MARRIED! You got all the good ones!